Disabilities Aren't Always a Bad Thing

I've been having a discussion with a group on Facebook about what's good about being in a wheel; about having a disability.  Now many people, both those who are disabled and those aren't, see this question and laugh.  Surely, there can be nothing good about having a disabled.  Uhm, I may beg to differ, depending  on the day.  I  was strangled at birth by the umbilical cord That caused me to have Cerebral Palsy.  I'd like to think that before I was born that God asked  me if I would be disabled for a reason.  I hope that through my struggles, I have inspired others.  I can look back at my life and sees the path that my disability has sewn: It's the reason my  family became Christian, the reason  I got to go to college, the reason I chose to major in Social Work, the reason I met my husband and so forth.  Most people see disabilities as negative, and while most disabilities have negative aspects that go along with them; but then again most people who breathe life encounter negative aspects that goes along with that life.    We all have two choices; we can either spend our life complaining and hold a self pity party with the negatives being the hostess with the mostest; or we can take the negatives and try to make our life a little bit better because of  them.  I know many problems in life seem massive and people think that nothing go can come of them.  And if we simply look at them with the naked  eye; we can't.  However, when we break down our negatives (at this point forward I'll refer to them  as disabilities), we can see thing that we might be able to when we look at them as a whole.  There is an old saying;  "How do you eat an elephant? One piece at a time, of course."    There are many thing we may not be able to do, we must concentrate on the thing we can do.  Even the simplest thing as smiling at a caregiver who may be having bad day; maybe you cheered  them up.  We are not on this earth to live solo lives.  God created us to have relationships and to help and to love others.  Hebrews 13:2 says "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unaware."  We should never let our disability hinder our ability to do God's will.  It's not even a choice.  it is our duty to  do what God calls us to, no matter what cost to us.

Praying For Strangers

A story caught my eye that week that has not only pulled on my heart strings, but has also made me questioned some of my core beliefs.  But above all, this story has reminded how importain it is to pray for others; even for those we don't know.
Brittany Maynard is a 29 year old recently married woman in Oregon.  Right after their wedding, she found out she had terminal brain cancer.  She has decided to end her on November 1st.
Now, while I believe suicide is wrong, I am compassionate of the reason she has chosen to end her life: she's facing a very harsh and painful death.  She also wants to make it easier for her family.  I do respect her decision, I just don't know if I agree with it.
However I can pray for her.    I can pray for her healing, for peace, for comfort and understanding for her family and friends.  I don't have to know or even to agree with her to pray for her.  Some people think that to pray for someone is  to say that you agree with them.  I say sometimes this is true, while other times this can't be further from the truth.  If we are praying for someone's salvation we are obviously not in agreement with them if they believe there is no God.  Sometimes the best prayer for others; strangers or not; is "May God's will be done."  Isaiah 55:8 says "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.'"  It can be very hard to pray  for God's will to be done because no one but God truly knows His will.  So therefore, we can pray for others even those we don't agree with them.
I can remember when I was little, my mama used to tell me to "people  watch" to cure boredom whenever we were out having to wait.  This is not only a great source of entertainment, but it's also a great opportunity to build you prayer list: we can prayer for the harried clerk at the local supermarket who's been yelled by many customers even though she's not to blame for the long line in her lane.  We can pray for the mother in the park who's trying to gather up her kids to go home and take a nap even though they don't want to go.  We can pray for the businessman  who is sitting alone in the food court at lunchtime; massaging his temple with one hand and trying to balance his check book with the other: Working 18 hours a day, 6 days a week is causing nothing but migraine headaches and only a few more dollars to work with when deciding what bills to pay first.
The truth is everyone has a story.  The chance that we'll ever know a stranger's story is slim to none, but it doesn't take away the importance of their story.  When we pray for them, we are lifting them up to God and pleading for Him to have mercy for them.  We may be the only person that will ever pray for them.  Sad, but true.  
Pray for strangers, and remember,  "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have showed hospitality to angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

Grieving Daddy on Facebook

     Recently,  two good friends of mine lost the fathers.  Angela Braach lost her sweet Daddy on November 23, 2014 and Katie Taylor lost her dear ole dad on December 2, 2014.  As I've watched and prayed  for for my friends and their families,  I've been taken aback 9 years to when my Daddy died on July 10, 2006.

    My daddy was sick for about 16 years with kidney issues.  I went to bed many nights just knowing that I would get a phone call before the sun rise; telling me that he didn't make it.   He was on Dialysis for the better part of those years - 3 or 4 days a week.

     I wish I could say that my daddy and I were always close and that I was always there for him.  Our life, our family's life, was quite complicated.  I spent years being angry at my daddy.  He made some choices in his life that I felt devastated from.  They were choices that not only hurt me as a daughter, but also as a Christian.  It is hard for a daughter to see her father sin and make mistakes.  I knew my daddy loved me and he knew I loved him, but there were things that I couldn't get past, & know I'm kicking myself now because all that did was wasted precious time that I could have spent with my Daddy.  Time that I can never get back.

     As hard as it is for a daughter to realize her daddy made mistake; it's even harder to think of her daddy not being in Heaven waiting for her.  I can remember a couple of Christmases before he died talking to him; pleading for him to turn to God and seek forgiveness.  He said no, that he had committed the unforgivable sin and had grieved the Holy Spirit.  It was then that I began to reverently pray that he  would turn  back to God.  I was so relived and rejoiced when Lisa told me at the funeral that two night before he died he asked for forgiveness and accepted Christ.

     God and time has a way of healing a broken heart.  Although I still greatly miss my daddy, I can now look back  on his life, and on our life as father and daughter,  and can truly see God's love and work and can say that I know and believed my daddy in walking in the presence of God.
     While I'm unaware of the struggles that my friends Angela and Katie had with their on fathers, it is my prayer that they can look pass them, they they can see their father truly for who God truly made him to be.  They are grieving now, but I pray that will wake up one day and  the sadness will be replaced with only sweet memories.  I love you both dearly and you are both in my prayers

YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM AND KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM

One of my Daddy's favorite songs was "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers.  It's one of those songs that takes more right back to my childhood.  Two other songs that can do this is "The Coward Of  The County" also  by Kenny Rogers and "The Ballad of Thunder Road" by Robert Micthums,  I got sidetrack while writing this because I kept finding songs on YOU TUBE that my Daddy like so I wound on a train going down Memory Lane.
     Anyway,  there's a line in "The Gambler" that says "You have to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em."  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV) tells us there is a time for everything.

 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

There is also a song by the Bryds called  "Turn, Turn Turn"  based on these verse.  God knew there would be different seasons in our life:  Some seasons break your heart and make you want to tear your clothes and wallow in the ashes and then there are seasons that are so beautiful that you catch a glimpse of heaven.  However; most of us, most of the time, are in seasons that fall somewhere in between..  My seasons are  shifting.   This summer I became a mother of an adult who will graduate in nine short months and a daughter  who just dipped her toe into to that big pool called high school and is counting down the days (I think its 22 ) until she can get her driver's permit.  It seams like just yesterday she was in her Johnny Jumper and he was  running around acting like Spider-man, (well, somethings  NEVER  change).  I can remember there were days when I thought I'd never make it, and now I find myself wanting those days back.    But life's like that isn't it?  Time passes on whether you want it to or not.  We have to know when to hold 'em - when we need to fight and keep doing what we believe God it telling us to do, but there are also time when we need to fold 'em - when God is telling us that is time to let something go.  I think it's harder to fold 'em because we HATE  not be in control.  Life is a gamble; the ONLY thing I can be sure of is that I am property off the King and will I'll spend an eternity with Him in paradise.  I hope that on November 7th, 2018 Bryan and I will celebrate our 20th  wedding anniversary, but it's not promised.  I hope and  pray that when Dalton and Bobbye Sue get out on their own, that they will live a life pleasing to God.  But I can't make that decision for them.  But my prayer is when I get to Heaven I'll be able tell God That I held 'em when He told me to hold 'em, and I folded 'em when He told  me to fold 'em, and He'll say; "Well done, good and faithful servant."

LUKE

I USED TO WANT TO MAKE YOU CRY, 

NOW I JUST WANT TO DRY YOU TEARS.

I USED TO TRY TO PULL YOU DOWN, 

NOW I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU UP.

I USED TO FIGHT TO HAVE MY VOICE BE HEARD,  

NOW, I JUST WANT TO SIT IN SILENCE WITH YOU.

YOU'VE LOST SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T GIVE YOU BACK.

I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW YOU FEEL,

PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

AND I ALWAYS WILL.

A PURPOSE

The word disability seam to have a negativity vibe from it, but it doesn't have to be.  I'm not going to lie, it can be challenging.  But life in general is hard.  Everyone has their  "vice" and my Mama always says that you can always find someone who is worse  than you.  This is very hard at times. As humans, we have a sinful nature.  A former pastor used to use the expression, "Me and me three"  referring to his wife and two sons.  That is how most us think.  
Now, I'm not ignoring that a disability can devastating;  both to the individual and their care taker(s).   And it may be the worst thing to happen.:  there is no way to down play this.  A disability can be very stressful.  And I pray for the millions of people who are suffering from a disability and those who care for them whose lives are fill with pain and just going on fumes; just trying to make it through another day.
I am fortunate that my disability isn't the worst thing in my life.  In fact, if  anything, it has been a blessing in my life; giving me opportunities that I wouldn't have had if I hadn't been disability: I went to one of the best schools in Nashville, I got to meet people I would have never had met.  I got to go to college and and meet my husband. I was told that i would never married or have kids.   I've been married over 18 years.  We have a 17 year old son and a 14 old daughter.  The loves of my life.
Most importantly, my disability led me to my faith in Christ.  My relationship with God is the most important relationship I have, that anyone has.  A lot of people blame God  for their disability, for all of their problems.  And yes, I have done this many times in my life.  I don't . believe God made me disabled, but I believe that He slowed me to be disabled for a (or some ) reason(s).  I gathered this information through the book of Job.    I don't completely  understand why God allowed  me to be disabled and there are days when I hate being disabled with every fiber of my body.  However, ever now and then, I get a glimpse of why I am disabled and it is beautiful!

WHEN I FIRST REALIZED...

I'm sitting here listening to sermons on disabilities ,  and it took me back to ` first time I realized I was disabled.  I was in first grade and I was going to a slumber party at Easter Seals ~ an organization  that helped families and people with disabilities.  We had been going there as long as I could remember.  
    My mama took me and was going to stay until I got comfortable.  I went to  school where I was the only disabled student in the entire school. I think my mama wanted me to be around other disabled children..
      It freaked me out!  It was kind of  like looking in a mirror and seeing my self for the first time time and I didn't think I was pretty.  Some people may think it is selfish.  But sometimes, in the midst of self-discovery, you have to be a little bit selfish.  You have to be able to look at the bad side of an issue to truly understand it.  I think we as people, even as children, we don't like to "different" from others.  It's unnatural, but at the same time it is very natural.. 
     I wish I could say, I was able to get over my fear and that I stayed all night, but I ended up going home with my mama.  I wish I could say I never felt this way again.  But I can't say that.  Even now, as an older woman who's a wife and mother, I still at times, feel like the odd man out,  However, I now know that I'm  not "different"  God just made me "UNIQUE"