Thankful Thursday: Nurses and Techs

 

Photo by PNGTREE

None of my caregivers will probably never see this, but...

Health care has definitely changed over these last few years.

Nursing homes have a very high turnover rate; always have and always will.

Times are tough.  Most places are having to hire agency staff in order to have enough staff to take of us.  Most agency workers do their job; some of them very well, but most of them are missing that personal connection,

But, then you get excellent techs and nurses who do take that extra care to make you feel loved and cared for.  They treat you like a...like a real person.

Thank you for giving us the care we need.

Thankful Thursday - Sandra

 Photo by Clipart Library

Some friends are just distant to meet...no matter what.

My friend, Sandra, is one of those friends.  She was here when I came back to the Waters (I went to live at a nursing facility for a while.  When I first got back, she was afraid she'd come between our friend Deborah and me.  Soon we were all thick as thieves.  

In many ways, Sandra and I had more in common than we did with Deborah.  She has CP also.  We just bonded~it's can be very hard to meet other people my age who have CP.

She became the "big sister" I never had.  We took care of each other.  I'm usually the "mother" of friendships I have ~ some of my friends are older than me.

She says I have a low pain reliance because she hit me with the corner of a pizza box and I said it hurt.🤕

She spoils me.  She's my confidant.  She protects me when I get in trouble 👮 (not that I ever get in trouble).

She calms me down when Aella Saudade, comes out in me.

I love her so much!!!

Thankful Thursday ~ Deborah

 

Photo by clipartbeast

On Thankful Thursdays, I'm continuing to talk about the women who have influenced my life and my faith.

Today, I want to tell you about my friend, Deborah.

Deborah was the first friend I made at The Waters.  She sat with me for the first 2 days while I cried.

She introduced me to activities.  She was in there whenever the doors were open; she especially enjoyed the religious programs and BINGO.  Deborah liked to stay busy.

I went to live in another nursing home for about 3 months.  She called me the night her sister (who was her roommate) died,  begging me to come back.  I think it was about a month later when I finally decided to move back.  I ask that Deborah not be told exactly when I was coming so I could surprise her. Her face lit up when she saw me, she was so excited!  We both were!!!

When Deborah and our friend, Sandra became roommates,  I practically lived in their room.  We joked that we got "divorced" at midnight and got "remarried" the next day.

Then...COVID HIT 

We all got COVID, except for 2 residents.  I think about 10 residents died  because of COVID

Deborah got really sick.  The doctors had to put her in an induced coma for a couple of weeks to help her heal.  

She got better and came back to the nursing home, but she was never quite the same.  She would get mad easily and just snap at people. She had been a very easygoing, loving, and forgiving lady and that person was gone.  She was still nice, she was just...different. (I heard that COVID affected many people this way.)

A few months later, her sister took her home to care for her.  3 months later Deborah got pneumonia.  Her lungs were too scarred because of COVID and she ended up passing away.

What I admired most about my friend, Deborah, is she could have fun and enjoy life regardless of what was going on.  She loved GOD and she loved to help people.  She always put others before herself.  She was a genuinely good person and she always made others feel special and loved.  

There is a lady here at The Waters who looks so much like her; they could be identical twins.  When we saw her, another friend and I looked at each other and our jaws dropped, it's uncanny how much she looks like Deborah.

I will always love and miss my friend.

t

Wednesday's Word: Compassion

 

Photo by Pixy

Everyone needs COMPASSION!

The definition of compassion is:

"sympathetic consciousness of other's distress together with a desire to alleviate it"   Merriam-Webster

Covid has taught us many, many things.  We have been reminded of how heroic people can be; not just in America, but all over the world. I don't think anyone has been praised (and rightly so) more than the people in the medical field; especially those on the front lines: like emergency rooms and ICUs.However,  the other side of the coin is that not many people want to work in health care right now.Since I live in a nursing facility, I am seeing this firsthand. We don't have enough nurses or CNAs (certified nurse assistants).  They are always short.  Some of the CNAs work through agencies (because they pay more) and many of them really don't care how they deal with the residents because they'll be at a different facility the next day.  The CNAs who do care are stretched to their limits and many don't have time to give the residents the care that they need and deserve.But, what I want to talk about now is the compassion that we owe the people who take care of us.Our society has such a "the customer is always right" morality, that many of us don't show others the common courtesy that everyone deserves.I can remember when were kids, if we didn't say "yes ma'am, no ma'am; yes sir, no sir; please and thank you", we better hope our daddy didn't find out!!!Most people work really hard; it doesn't matter if you're the top neurosurgeon in the world or a garbage collector; EVERYONE deserves respect.Sometimes, all it takes is a simple "thank you" and a smile to lift someone's weary soul.


s

THE VOICE OF KNOWLEDGE

 Beside my marriage and my little people(and yes, I will ALWAYS call them my little people!), my greatest achievement is my college degree. 

I was never an A/B student.  I'm more of a B/C girl.  (I choose to believe MATH and SCIENCE are a figment of my imagination that only exists in an alternate universe!).  I always wanted to go to college.  My parents always encouraged me in this area.  I was the first in my family to go and to graduate from college.  I'm very proud of this.

`However...

When you're disabled, many people seem to automatically think that you are not as smart as they are.  This belief seems to expand over multiple versions of disabilities.  Living in a nursing home, you have people who talk down to you and assume that since you live here, you don't know how to take care of yourself.  There is a big difference between not knowing how to take care of yourself and not being able to take care of yourself.  I can tell you how I need to stand and pivot to get in and out of bed.  I can tell you what foods I like and what I don't like, and which ones cause me to choke.  I know what clothes I want to put one each day.

I used to have my degree hanging  above my bed - just waiting to get it hung up again.  This way, whoever takes care of me has to look at my degree and understand that I am smart and I can and will be a prominent voice in the way I'm cared for.  

My Calling in Disguise

I'm one of those who thinks everyone and everything has a purpose.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says: (NIV)

    There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.

            a time to be born and a time to die

            a time to plant and a time to uproot

            a  time to kill and a time to heal

            a time to tear and a time to build up

            a time to weep and a time to laugh

            a time to mourn and a time to dance

            a time to scatter stones and a time to gether them

            a time to embrace and a time to refrain from

            embracing

            a time to search and a time to give up

            a time to keep and a time to throw away

            a time to tear and a time to mend

            a time to be silent and a time to speak

            a time to love and time to hate

             a time fore war and   

             a time for peace

Not only is this in the Bible, but the Mamas and the Papas wrote a song about it!!!

When I was 13, I started going to visit a nursing home once month with  my church.

                                     I   LOVED IT!!!

Something in me just clicked....I felt like I belong and I really enjoyed working with the  residents.

Then I met...

                                           HER!!!

 I can't remember her name (which is sad that I can't remember the name of of the women that shaped so much of my life).  She was in her mid 50s and she had Cerebral Palsy.  I think she had been institutionalized for most, if not all, all of her life.  I can just remember being scared, thinking; I don't want to end like her.

So, I went to college at MTSU.  My major was in social work and my minor was in gerontology (The study of getting old -yes, this is a thing).  I wanted be an advocate for those who didn't have a voice.  The elderly is a part of society that time sometimes forgets.  I wanted, at one point wanted to an adult daycare.  I really think that with the price of insurance rising and that there are many younger disabled people who need more advance care, the adult day facilities  are becoming more popular because many families are choosing to ro keep the loved ones at home.

So what changed?

You guessed it...

                              BOY MEETS GIRL

                              BOY MARRIES GIRL 

                              BOY AND GIRL HAVE

                    A DALTON AND A BOBBYE

Now, I love being married and I loved staying home with my kids.   Like many women, I thought when I the kids got older and in school I'd get a job but I physically couldn't.  We were very blessed and GOD gave Barrett a great job and has always provided for our needs.

So, I posted yesterday about how I  chose to live in a nursing home.  It's certainly doesn't evade that I did end up in a nursing home:  I just thought I be working in one not living in one.  You know the old saying...when you plan, GOD laughs

I do believe that GOD has me here for such a time as this.  In here I am able to be a friend to a person who may not have anyone else to /  I can smile at a tech or a nurse who's having a bad day.  I can pray when I see a family who are having to say goodbye to there loved ones.  I can advocate when I see there is something  wrong.  

Yes, there is a time for everything under the heavens! 

A START ANEW

 Heyia!!!  So, it's been a moment or two since I've blogged.  It's been four years and coincides with a major change in my health and my life.  In the summer of 2018, we went to Florida and I fell in the bathroom.  It was then I looked at Barrett and said; "Its time."

We always knew that there was a high possibility  I would end up in a long term care facility.  It was hard to make the decision.   I have always told Barrett that I wanted to be one to decide when I needed more help.  I didn't want him or especially Dalton and Bobbye to have to make that decision and feel guilty: they do feel to some extent.  It's one thing to have to decide as a middle aged adult to put your elderly parent (65+) into a nursing facility, it's another to be 19 and 16 to have put your 45 year old Mama in one.

I have many people who judge us; especially Barrett.  It is easy to say;  "Well, I'd  never do that to my loved one."  You don't know what you'd do in our situation.  A couple of days before I moved in here, I fell.  I didn't have my phone (my fault).  Barrett was at work, Bobbye was at school and Dalton was asleep at the other end of the house.  I laid here for a couple of hours.  They needed to be able to  go out and do what they  need to do without worrying about me being OK.  The kids have to have their own life.  People like to say "O, why don't you have home health come and help out?"  Great idea!  Home health is expensive, and most insurance doesn't pay for it.  My Mama has some friends who are a bit more financially comfortable than we are, they've been using home health for about 2 years and it's really been rough for them.  I don't think that when we judge others and say "Well, if..." we count all the costs, because we don't know all the costs.  I'm also bipolar, which can be just as taxing, if not more, as a physical disability on a relationship.  It's better for all of us to see each other once or twice a week and have a really good time, than to  be with each other day by day and be stressed and even resentful towards each other.