Wednesday's Word - Selfishness

 

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I'm a very SELFISH person & have been told so by numerous people.

I, of course, try to deny it.  I think; no, I know, that I have used my Cerebral Palsy to get things I wanted.  There are aspects of disabilities that (may) cause people to need things done for them that people without disabilities take for granted.

This post is not necessarily about my physical needs being met, but it's about me being entitled and demanding that people do stuff for me that I could do for myself.  Sometimes, I think people  "owe" me something because I am disabled.

Oftentimes, I composed my selfishness as a  question.  "Will you do such and such for me, please?"

Unfortunately, when it comes to my husband and my kids, It is more of a  demand; not even accompanied by "please" or "thank you".

Philippians 2:3 says "Do nothing of selfish ambition or vain conceit.   Rather in humility, value others above yourself." (NIV)

The 10th  commandment tells us not to covet.  If you think about it, when you want something that is not yours, you're being selfish.

It would be so easy for me to sit here and write that everyone is selfish from birth, due to initial sin.  They are,  but as I stated earlier,   this post is about me being entitled and demanding.

I've been told that I start all my sentences with "I".

Many people think that if you're selfish you'll have this amazing life,  with friends and pleasures galore.  

In my experience, the more selfish I become, the lonelier and more miserable I become.   No one wants to be around someone who only cares about themself.

So, how do I become  "unselfish"?

I can't without GOD,  

I have to die to myself daily; to learn how to put   GOD and others before myself.  

One Word: Holiday

Photo by PNGKEY

 The word holiday comes from Old English where the word originally referred to special religious days.  Morden uses of the word vary geographically.  In  North America, it means any dedicated day or period of celebration.

Definition on Goggle

The controversy over saying "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" has been going on for years.

This debate has never made sense to me.

It is a greeting of good wishes; why not say 'thank you' or nothing at all?

I don't think anyone has ever corrected me, but I have heard people talking about how people have been told not to wish them "Merry Christmas" because they don't believe in and/or don't celebrate Christmas.

Bah Humbug!

The word "holiday" is a compound word. "Holy" and "Day".

Holy means:

Especially recognized or declared sacred by religious use or authority; consecrated

and

Dedicated or devoted to the service of God,  church or religion.

So, if "holy" means devoted to the service of GOD, wouldn't the true definition of "holiday" means "a day devoted to GOD"?

So, it seems to mean that saying "Happy Holidays" is in a sense referring the same as, if not more than saying "Merry Christmas".

So, whether you say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas", I pray that you and yours enjoy each other during this most sacred time of year.

Wednesday's Word: Thanksgiving

 

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Today's word is thanksgiving.  Are you surprised???

Many of us remember what we are thankful for during this time of year, but do we truly know what thanksgiving really means?

The first Thanksgiving was a gift from the Pilgrims to Indians to show their appreciation for helping them get through the first harsh winter in America.

When was the last time that you got a gift or something that actually altered your life in some way or another?

Thanksgiving isn't just saying thank you to that nice stranger for holding the door open for you.  That's a nice thing to do, but true thanksgiving goes deeper than that.

I've written before about how my brother, Luke, lost his son Zack.  They chose to donate his organs.  That wonderful boy saved 6 lives!!!

I pray those recipients and their families live in a constant state of thanksgiving.

Maybe that's what thanksgiving is, a state of mind and heart.

Wednesday's Word:Isolation

 

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Over the past few years, "social isolation" has become part of our everyday vocabulary.

GOD said in Genesis 2:18, "It is not good for man to be alone."

We were created to fellowship with others.

Many of us can feel alone, even when we're in a crowd.

Isolation is deeper than loneliness; it is a feeling of despair and/or abandonment.

Some forms of isolation are forced on us by others, and some we cast upon ourselves.

Why?

I think, at least for me, I don't feel worthy of love; GOD's or men's.

But we are called to live by faith, not by our fickle feelings as Joyce Meyer says.

No matter where I am or what I am doing, GOD  always loves me, and He is always with me.

In Hebrews 3:5, GOD says, "HE will never leave us or forsake us."

We have to trust, even when it's hard.

In Miracle On 34th Street, when Susan is in the car with her mom she says "I believe, I believe, I know it's silly, but I believe."

Sometimes, we have to have a child-like faith, even when everyone and everything around us says that is no sense in believing.

So, how is your faith?

Wednesday's Word -Comfort

    

                                                                                                  Photo by Clipart Library 

According to dictionary.com, comfort means to soothe console, and reassure; (verb), a feeling of relief or consolation (noun).

Comfort is one of those words that has a different meaning for everyone; maybe it is associated with an image.

When we first got married, some friends of ours gave us a big overstuffed chair.  It was awesome to curl up and watch a movie or read a good book.

Comfort gives me a sense of peace.  No matter what is going on around me, if I can just close my eyes for a minute, then I can go on and deal with the ordeal at hand.

John 14:26 (KIV) says; 

"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit, whom the FATHER will send in my name, HE shall teach you all things,  and bring all things to your remeberance, whoever I said unto you."

It should come as no surprise that GOD HIMSELF is the best comforter of all.

John 16:6-8 (NIV) tells us:

"Rather you are filled with grief because I have said theses things.  But very truly I tell you these things, it is for your good that I go away.  Unless I go away, the ADVOCATE will not come to you.  But if I go, I will send HIM to you.  When HE comes HE will proove the world to be in the wrong about sind and rightouness and judgement."

A couple of years ago my brother, Luke, tragically lost his oldest son.  I can't even start to imagine what that would feel like.  Luke took it in stride.  I'm sure he struggles every day to get up and live his life but he does it.  I am in complete awe of him.   I pray that he is able to dig down deep and take comfort in what we learned about GOD while we were growing up.

We do not always need to understand why things happen as they do.  In fact, it's probably best that we don't understand why things happen like they do  If we could understand why things happened, we would probably up in a ball and cry.

It's only through the hope, through the comfort, of GOD that we can survive anything at all.

Wednesday's Word - Passion

 

 

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What is passion?

Dictionary.com defines passion as any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, such as love or hate.

Passion holds a different meaning for everyone. 

My definition of passion is to have a feeling for someone or something that is so intense, it takes my breath away.  It calls for a response that I have to answer; if I don't respond to this call my heart feels like it will explode

 Usually, when people think about being passionate, it is directed toward a good thing; something positive.

However, we can be passionate about negative things.  How many times have we heard, thought, or even said I HATE you?  We may have to be passionate about something that we don't want to because it is in our best interest or someone else's best interest. 

We can be passionate about things that others may not care about as much as we do or they may even be the polar opposite of who we are and what we are passionate about.

Being passionate about something is not always easy.  It can be very hard, and very expensive; both monetarily and emotionally. 

We may have to weigh what we are passionate about against our relationships with others. 

Last week, I wrote about the influence that others have on us.  I think others can definitely have an influence on our passions.

It is easy to push our passions out of the way because we have to accommodate others.  Some examples of these are; when we get married,  have kids, move, etc.

That's not always a bad thing.

However, I think when we totally let our passions fall the wayside simply because someone else doesn't share or like them.  We need to question why we let their opinion influence how we approach our passions.

I'm not saying  I let someone tell me what I can or cannot do,  because I don't.

I do think that I, out of my own free will, presume what others think of my passions and let this "presumption" affect how I pursue my passions.

Why???

I should be strong  and confident in myself enough, that  I can say "You don't have to like what I'm passionate about, but this is part of who I am."

I think I'm afraid of what others think of me when I disagree with them.

I'm trying to understand the concept that I can still LOVE someone even when I don't agree and share my passions with them.

Wednesday/s Word ~ Influence

 

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Influence " is the power or capacity of causing an effect in an indirect  or intangible way; sway" 

   Merriam-Webster Dictionary 

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I've been told that I can be influenced very easily.  Maybe I am a chameleon and blend in wherever I go in Switzerland.  (Come to think of it, a lot of disabled people tend to {try} to blend in with others.)

I don't think of it as blending in as much as it is that I want to make others happy.

Unless you do or say something that totally goes against my core beliefs and values, I'm probably going to agree with you.

Some people say that I'm a doormat.

I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!!!

I do have loyalties to people that I will not break.

There are decisions that I have made, good and bad, that have put me in this position at this stage in my life.

We have all made these choices.

The thing about doormats is most of them say "WELCOME"*.  

I want to welcome people into my life.  I want them to feel welcomed and loved  Too many people don't feel loved and wanted.  People have been told that they don't deserved to be loved.  

Even the viliest of criminals deserved to be loved!

We don't stop and think of how people who influence us have been influenced.

I think if we could understand this, we might be a litte more understanding and patient with others.

 So yes, I may be easily influnced, but`maybe I can easily influence others, too.

*Please, if you are being abused in ANY WAY, please find HELP!

Wednesday's Word: Compassion

 

Photo by Pixy

Everyone needs COMPASSION!

The definition of compassion is:

"sympathetic consciousness of other's distress together with a desire to alleviate it"   Merriam-Webster

Covid has taught us many, many things.  We have been reminded of how heroic people can be; not just in America, but all over the world. I don't think anyone has been praised (and rightly so) more than the people in the medical field; especially those on the front lines: like emergency rooms and ICUs.However,  the other side of the coin is that not many people want to work in health care right now.Since I live in a nursing facility, I am seeing this firsthand. We don't have enough nurses or CNAs (certified nurse assistants).  They are always short.  Some of the CNAs work through agencies (because they pay more) and many of them really don't care how they deal with the residents because they'll be at a different facility the next day.  The CNAs who do care are stretched to their limits and many don't have time to give the residents the care that they need and deserve.But, what I want to talk about now is the compassion that we owe the people who take care of us.Our society has such a "the customer is always right" morality, that many of us don't show others the common courtesy that everyone deserves.I can remember when were kids, if we didn't say "yes ma'am, no ma'am; yes sir, no sir; please and thank you", we better hope our daddy didn't find out!!!Most people work really hard; it doesn't matter if you're the top neurosurgeon in the world or a garbage collector; EVERYONE deserves respect.Sometimes, all it takes is a simple "thank you" and a smile to lift someone's weary soul.


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Wednesday's Word ~ Peace

 Photo by Gerd Altmann

Peace is a word that has a different meaning for everyone.

When I  was finding an image for this post, my first thought was to find a peace sign.  But when I saw this, I thought of 2 people:

Noah and Jesus

Noah sent out a dove twice out of the ark, (after first sending a raven).  The 1st time the dove brought back an olive branch ~ this is where the phrase "extend an olive branch" came from.  The 2nd time he sent out the dove, it didn't come back, meaning it had found a dry place to land  

I think when the dove didn't come back the 2nd time, it was saying that GOD was giving the earth rest from the rain and the people a rest from the evil people that had been destroyed by the flood.

When JESUS came out of the water after HE was baptized, the spirit of GOD descended on HIM like a dove.

Whenever we are in agreement with and are aligned with GOD we can be at peace...No matter what chaos is going on around us

Wednesday's Word = FAITH

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 According to Life, Hope & Truth:

Faith is the substance or assurance of things hoped for, but have not yet received. 

Faith is a very personal thing that's unique to each individual.  No one can "give you" faith.  I can share my faith with someone, but I can't make them believe what I believe.

We believe in what we see as sensible. For instance, I don't believe in a  ONE-EYED, ONE-HORNED, FLYING, PURPLE PEOPLE EATER. (I just always wanted to use it in a blog!!!) My mind just can't comprehend that.  But, if I saw evidence of one, I'd be more likely to believe in it.  I can read the scriptures, I can travel to Israel and see physical evidence and I can listen to how God has worked in other people's lives.  It is up to me to choose whether to believe or not.

Faith is simple in some aspects, but it can also be difficult too.  You have to give up control and allow yourself to feel vulnerable to someone or something that you don't completely know and understand. Many of us, probably most of us, have control issues.  We want to be the one in control so that we know things are getting done the RIGHT (OUR) way. If you want something done right, do it yourself!

I'm not a type A, perfectionist, OCD type of person.  I think being disabled has humbled me in some ways and I know I'm not in control of most things in my life.  I fall, slur my speech, and spill EVERYTHING on my clothes. (Please see my I Am Who You Say I Am post.)

When you give up control, you experience freedom.  No one can't explain to you what freedom is like; just like no one can make you believe what they believe.

In the movie, Mask (such a good movie!!!) the main character,  Rocky, wanted to show Diana, his visually impaired girlfriend, colors.  He gave her a hot potato to represent "RED" and ice to represent "BLUE".   She got so excited because she got a "glimpse" of what colors look like.  In her excitement, she cried: "I get it! I get it!" 

Faith (in anything) is like "seeing" colors for the first time.  Once you understand whatever you believe, you're able to make your own conclusions and stand firm on them.  

Now, I'm not saying that I believe whatever you have faith in will save you and give you eternal life because I DON'T!!! However, whatever you have faith in, own it, and don't be ashamed.

Wednesday' s Word - Determination

We all have it...

It is that small voice that lives deep within the soul that tells us we can do something.  I have had a strong sense of determination since the moment I took my first breath or didn't take my first breath; however, you choose to look at it.  (I was strangled by the umbilical cord when I was born.)  So, I literally had to fight for my first breath.  The doctors gave my parents a laundry list of things that, if I survived, I would never be able to do.  They even gave my parents an "out" by telling them they should abandon me at the hospital and walk away; free and clear.

Nothing enlights determination mort than telling you that you "CAN'T" do something.  Whether you call it a strong will, fight or flight, or something else, our natural instinct is to fight for our life. I've heard people say that if you try to hold your breath in order to take your own life,  you'll eventually pass out and start breathing again.

With my parents' support and determination, I was able to achieve and surpass most of my dream; I'm still not a world-renowned ballerina!!!

We think of determination as a positive thing, and it is, but I think it can also be negative. Sir Issac Newton says "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  If you're not striving to succeed, while you're not necessarily saying I don't want to succeed, it may be saying I don't have enough determination for a particular thing.

I think we have to remember our interests and abilities.  Something you want may be something I could care less about, and my 100% may be your 20%.  This is how God wired us.

***Please note if you try hard and strive for what you and don't get it, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!***

We may be determined to succeed at something but don't get whatever we pursue.  The fact that we did not accomplish what we set out to achieve may not have anything to do with the determination that we have in our hearts.  Too many people have determination and success inner twined so tight that the heart gets lost behind the vines

I do everything from my heart, so of course, My determination is in sync with how my heart feels.  I have learned in a short 48 years that I can't get or do everything I want-yeah, (Am I a slow learner or am I very determined???).

So what do you want or need and determined are you to get it?

Wednesday's Words - Quotes I Love

 

"We should live as though Christ is coming this afternoon." Jimmy Carter

"If you can't say anything nice; don't say nothing at all." Thumper in Bambi

"That that doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Clarice in Steel Magnolias

"You worship the quicksand I walk (roll) on." Clarice in Steel Magnolias

"Peace begins with a smile." Mother Teresa
" Life is what happens while you're making other plans." John Lennon

"The key to success is failure." Micheal Jordan

"Hate the sin, love the sinner." Gandhi

"You have heard the law say 'Love your neighbor and hate the enemy.'  But I say 'Love you, enemies!  Pray for those who persecute you.'" Jesus (Mathew 5:43-44)

"We meet no ordinary people in our lives." C S Lewis

"He died not for men. but each man.  If each man had been the only man made, HE would have done no less." C S Lewis

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."  Love Story

"Don't walk in front of me...I may not follow.   Don't walk behind me...I may not lead.  Walk beside me...Just be my friend."  Albert Camus

A friend is someone who knows all about you, and still loves you." Elbert Hubbard

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa 

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." (Atticus) To Kill a Mockingbird

"You is kind...You is smart...You is important." The Help