I love you, Bryan Barrett

 

o

This picture may have been made a couple of years ago.

OK, OK, maybe a few more...24 to be exact.

When we met in a 2-week summer Philosophy class, we didn't know how much our lives would change.

I had been praying to meet the guy I would marry and spend the rest of my life with.  I knew within 2 weeks that this would be the man that I would spend the rest of my life with.

He was a little less enthused. 

I think he loved me, I know he loved me.

However, it's one thing to fall in love and get married.  Is quite another thing to fall in love and get married to someone with a disability.

SIDE NOTE: I am in no way saying that people can't or shouldn't fall in love and get married, it is just not easy. (I have discussed this many times in this blog.)

I can only speak about our experiences, especially mine.

I can't drive, and as anyone with kids knows, being a chauffeur  is a big part of being a parent.  We were very blessed to have Bryan's Daddy and other parents and friends who could help out.

When we went out as a family, which was a great ordeal, especially when it got harder for me to walk, he proudly carried the weight.  It would have been so much easier for him to do things by himself, but he chose to do things that included us as a family.

He worked hard so that I could stay home with our kids and be the best mother to them I could be. 

He worked hard to give me what I needed to have a more productive life.

Even now, when I have to be in a nursing facility, he does whatever he can to include me.

Even when I'm unlovable...

Even when he doesn't understand everything...

Even when I don't deserve him...

He's still there

Oftentimes, when you're dealing with someone with a disability, illness, or really anything that puts a strain on the family, it's the person with the impairment who seems to get the bulk of the attention.

Sadly, I am the one who got that attention.

Most of the time I selfishly wanted the attention.

I took this away from my children.

But he still loved me, still loves me!!!

 

THE VOICE OF MY MARRIAGE PRAYER

 

Our engagement pic ~~ 1998

"Don't urge me to leave or turn back from you.  Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.  Where you die I will die and there I will be buried.  May God deal with me, be it ever so severely if anything but death separates me from you." (Ruth 1:16)

Yesterday, I talked about Ruth and how she is my biblical heroine and this verse is one reason why.  Years ago I heard someone talking about choosing a bible verse to pray over your marriage.  I chose this one because even though it is something that was said by Ruth to her mother-in-law, it can apply to marriage too.  Marriage is hard and anyone who says it has never left the altar.

{Side Note: I am not judging anyone's relationship. It's none of my business.  I don't want anyone to judge Barrett and my relationship because there are aspects of our relationship that no one knows about except Barrett and me.}

I chose Ruth 1:16 as my marriage prayer because I do want this to work. Our relationship can be really rough at times.  I love this man more than anything!!!!  I don't think either one can point to any one certain thing that is wrong, but because we are 2 broken people and we will be broken until we get to Heaven.  Because we are 2 broken people, we will have issues in our marriage.  I've devoted my life to this man; regardless of whether he's devoted to me (PS, he is!!!)  I want him to know that I'm just as devoted to him today as I was when I said "I do" on November 7, 1998.

On a bigger scale~sorry Barrett~I think this verse also reflects our relationship with GOD because we are supposed to follow HIM wherever HE leads us and HE doesn't want anything to come between us (I don't either!)  As close as I want to be to Barrett, I want to be even closer to GOD.

Us~uhm...later