Mental Illness;; Other's Connecting or Control

  

 There are many people with mental health issuess have family and friends who think  they know and understand their issuses.   Most of the time they don'tt.

My issues change from day to day.  It's different than it was 5 or 10 years ago.  Used to, my isusess came to visit around the same time my Aunt Flo did.  Evan after I had my hystorectmy, I was still following the same clock

Hpwever, as I've gotten older, I'm' having more emotional espidoes.

There are also becoming moew serve.

Others think that's a reason of why and when your mental issuses "strikes". 

I think this occurs for a couple of reasons; I think they want to make a "connection" with their loved ones.

But, I also think people yerning to be in "control".  If you are in contol, you don't have feel resposible for your loved one mental health issues. You can't conrol  When, where or why a mental health isusse occurs, amd that DRIVES people crazy; especially for those who are "TYPE A".

Unfortunately, you can't control a mental illnes any more than you can control other illness.

 

 

Mental Health: The Art of Being Alone

 Having a mental illness is very lonely.

It is said, we all die alone.

But, for the most part, we all live alone too.

People without a mental illness can't understand why a person with a mental illness thinks the way they do.

My mind is constantly racing:  Did I say thank you to that person who held the door open for me?  If I thought the way so and so did I'd be happy.  I wouldn't have dropped my drink on the ground if only I'd paid more attention.  If I prayed more I wouldn't have impure thoughts.  If I was a better friend, that person feel so alone.

IF...IF...IF....

I worry that my thinking is flawed and somehow that makes me a worse person than others. 

Because others can't understand my way of thinking, I feel constantly judged by them.

The thing about being alone is that the longer you're alone, the more used to being alone you get.  If you're alone long enough, you may get to the point where you prefer it that way.

I take several different medicines for my mental illness.  Many of the meds make me tired.  However, if I don't take my meds, my mental illness gets worse; thus it is a trade-off.

I can be alone and not have my mental illness hurt others OR  I can be with others and risk hurting them because I'm mentally ill.

UHM...

I would rather be alone than hurt the ones I love.  

But, do I have enough strength to perfect the art of being alone???

Mental Health Monday: The Demons and the Pigs

 

Luke 8:26--39 tells us the beloved story of the man who lived in the tombs because he was possessed by a legion of demons and JESUS drove them into a herd of pigs who jumped off the cliff and drowned in the lake.

Now people have several opinions of the occurrence:

     -Some people say this story is clearly saying that this man is  demon-possessed, and does not have a mental illness.

    -Some people believe that this man does have a mental illness.

    -Some people don't believe in mental illness; and that mental illness is definitely not talked about in the Bible - which it is, BTW.

    -Some people think that sin causes mental illness.

    -Some people recognize mental illness as a true medical issue, and that has nothing to do with sin. (*Side note~some sins does lead to medical & other problems*)

 Regardless, of what you believe, JESUS healed this man of his demons.

And HE can heal people who have a mental illness.

However, HE doesn't always heal people. 

Many people stop believing in JESUS if they aren't healed.

    -Some people say you're not healed because your faith  isn't strong enough.

Sometimes, JESUS uses our mental health as part of our ministry

In Luke 8:28 we learn that demon-possessed man asked; "What do you want with me, JESUS, SON of the most High GOD?  I beg you don't torture me"

Are we asking GOD what HE wants from us; what HE wants from me?

Now, I know that HE doesn't "need" anything from me EVER!!!

I do owe HIM my love and respect; whether HE ever heals me or not.  I may end up being crazier than a betsy bug, so I ask that someone please remind me to praise GOD when  I can't remember to.

Mental Health Monday: The Cost of Mental Health

 

Photo by Clip Art Library

According to MedCityNews,  in the USA, the behavioral health market is valued at $90.5  billion in 2022 and Precedence Research predicts the cost of mental health to grow in excess of $130 billion in 2027.

But there is a greater cost to mental health.

On that is closer to the heart...The personal cost...The cost pulls at the heartstrings,  not just the purse strings.

For me. the greatest cost of my mental health has been my. relationships with others.

Some relationships can never be repaired.

Words are like a tube of toothpaste; once they come out, they can't go back in again.

"I'm sorry" is like salt that loses its flavor; it's useless.

Sometimes, I don't know where my mental health ends and where my selflessness begins.

What has your mental health cost you?

Name My Alter Egos

Photo by FAVPNG

 A few weeks ago I wrote a post about naming my alter egos.  I need something spicy for the manic and something sadder for the depressive ego. The winner(s) will be mentioned in my blog...Thank you.

Mental Health Monday ~Naming My Alter Egos

 

Photo by Freeimges

I have tried to be open and transparent about my Bipolar and any other disabilities I have or may have.

I do this in hopes that my story may help someone else.

That being said, I have decided to name my alter egos.

I say egos because when I'm MANIC I'm bouncing off the walls.

But when I am depressed, I mainly get tired.

It's harder to tell when I'm depressed than when I'm manic.  I think this is because of the Cerebral Palsy may age and the natural state I'm in,  I'm already at that level where it's hard to distinguish between depression and the level that my disability has me at.   

That's why I want to name my alter egos.  One name should be spunky and upbeat.  The other name should be gravely and harsh.

I'm open to suggestions.  Comment below.!.

  

THE VOICE OF CONFUSION

I have Bi-Polar.  I wasn't diagnosed until my mid 20's, but I've probably dealt with it most of my life.  Even in in 2022, mental health is still a taboo subject in many societies.  It can already be an embarrassing  condition, and when you add  the negative stigma that can already accompany mental illness, it can truly be overwhelming.

I think if I could say, ask, one thing of people who encounter someone who is Bi-Polar or who is dealing with any type of mental health problem , is please be kind and patient.   I know I, for one, already feel bad and guilty for the way I think and sometimes the way I act.

Now, please note, I'm not using my mental health as a cop-out, because I am accountable for my words and actions.

Please,  try not to shame or discourage a person dealing with mental health issues. That, in my case, makes whatever I'm going through 10 times worse because I'm not only having to deal with the issue at hand, but now I feel guilty, shamed and worried about how my mental health effects you.

Of course my mental health effects those around me, all I can do is to pray-and take my meds-that I can get control over my mental health issues.

Christianity and Mental Health - Part 2

There are many different theories and beliefs on mental health; in fact there are probably as many different opinions on mental health as they are types of mental illnesses themselves. Mental health has been around as long as life itself.  (I dare say Cain probably suffered severe when God abandoned him to the wilderness because he killed his bother).  Elijah (1 Kings 19:4), David (Psalms) and Job ( he has his own book) all suffered depression.
  
When we see that some of our biblical heroes, and even some of the biblical villains we love to hate like Saul and Nebuchadnezzar,  suffered with mental health issues.    It eases my mind some to know I'm in great company/
  
Solomon tells us in  Ecclesiastes 1:9`

History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new.

Many Christians, however, project a negative image onto Christians who admit that they struggle with their mental health.  Many people are made to feel like they don't believe in God, they don't have enough faith or they are made to feel like the struggle with mental health a sin.  Some Christians are made to feel like ashamed if they admit they have mental health because there are afraid of the backlash.  I've seen people being brow bested by well intended Christians who think that if the person would just "get religion" the will be healed. 

I can remember times when I was growing up and some people would see my physical disability and would say; "Bless your heart, I'll pray for you."  Now, don't get me wrong, MY God is a HEALING God, but if I don't get healed is doesn't my faith isn't strong enough or that I'm being punished for  something.  In fact , in my case at least, I think God allowed me to be physically disabled and someone who struggles with mental health, to give Him glory  and to show what a life can look like even though it may look to be damaged by others.

My ultimate prayer is  that the church and Christians  gain understanding of people who are struggling with their mental issue it is hard to understand; because it is so personal.  Unless you're the one struggling with mental health, or you're EXTREMELY close to the person who struggling with their mental health, you can't get it.  For me, at least, I can not describe my struggles with my mental health.  Their are no words, even though it makes total sense to me at the time.  When I try to express it out loud , it sounds just as illogical to me as it does to others.  But logic and mental health don't always go together.

Christianity and Mental Health ~ Part 1

May is mental health awareness month.  I didn't know this when I thought about doing a blog series on Christianity and mental health.  I  decided to do this because I do struggle with mental health while being a Christian.  I've hidden it, denied it. lied about it, blamed others for it, blamed me, and yes, I've even blamed God for it.   I take my medicine, I pray for it to go away and I've even attempted things like banging my head against a wall to reverse it.

While praying and taking my medication helps, I cannot deny any longer that I do struggle with mental health and have for most of my life.  

I have Cerebral Palsy caused by being strangled by the umbilical cord during birth. A lack of oxygen damaged my Cerebral Cortex, which not only controls my muscles but also my emotions.  I tend to get overly emotional over most things.  I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder:

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is a mental illness that brings severe high and low moods and changes in sleep, energy, thinking, and behavior. ... You can think of the highs and the lows as two "poles" of mood, which is why it's called "bipolar" disorder
https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/mental-health-bipolar-disorder

One thing that I struggle with most is the fear of not being able to take care of myself.  I'm not really afraid of being alone, but as far as being able to take care of my physical and finances, I'll probably never be too.  I know that I do have people who will take care of me.  It's a control thing.  I never considered myself a "control freak", but looking back on my life,  I can see where I was (am) a control freak.  Whether or not I can always control my emotions, when I don't take the time to breathe and pray, I'm going to go overboard every time.  However, when I take the time to breathe and pray, I can usually lessen the blow and the time that I am upset.  Unfortunately, I don't stop and do this as often as I should.

Trying to control something that is impossible to control is insane.  Albert Einstein is credited with saying; "The definition of insanity of doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.  I guess I keep expecting if I continue to have a negative reaction to a situation then it will result in a positive reaction.  Logically, I know that this scenario will never work out, but in my warped mind, I see it working as the perfect solution.