SEEKING GOD AS A PRECIOUS JEWEL

I've been listening to this song lately.   This was a theme song one year at the women's retreat that my friend, Becki, and I attend every year. I'm sitting here wondering do I truly seek Jesus as the precious jewel He is or do I treat Him like and as a genie` in a lantern that I put on the back burner of my heart until I need him again?  Honestly, I probably do a little of both.  There are times when I'm so in tune with God that I get a glimpse of what Heaven may be like.  Then there are times when I feel so disconnected from God that He seems like a total stranger to me.  I wish I could say I got to busy or something r more important came up.  I can't.  it's a matter of choosing what I want to do.  It's a heart issue.  Am I going to choose to study and prayer of am I going to choose to watch one more episode of that TV show that I shouldn't be watching?  Uhm... why are that we don't (or me maybe even want) wrapped  in such beautiful and a luring paper?  The easy answer is to say the DEVIL.  O God, I wanted to study but Satan made me do it.  God must get so sick of us saying that.  We can be tempted by Satan, but we have to take responsibility of responding to that temptation.  (Remember His servant Job???)  
In Romans 7:15 Paul say "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but that I hate I do."  I think through serious prayer and dedication to change.`  I've struggling with things for years, decades even, that I need to change.  It's easy for me to play the victim and say "That's just who I am.  But that's not who God created me to be.  I was created to seek, and find, Jesus as the precious jewel that He is.  He me; not some of me or my leftovers.   He wants ALL of me.  Not because He's a selfish control freak.  Simply because He LOVES me.