My Blog Mission Statement

My purpose for blogging is to blend my faith and my disability and every other part of my life together. I know GOD touches every aspect of my life. My prayer is that my blog inspires others to trust in GOD and maybe look at things in a different way. I believe part of my life's mission; along with being a wife and mother, and a resident at the nursing home; is to do whatever else GOD tells me to do.

Monday, October 24, 2022

Mental Health Mondays: Letter to My Bipolar

 


To my Bipolar, (also known as Manic Depression);

I HATE you!!!

Actually, that's not true:

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being MANIC!!!

It's a high: I feel like I can do ANYTHING!!!

It's like being the Tasmanian Devil.  I'm running in circles and I'm bouncing off walls.  My mind is racing, I'm talking at top speed and am even more comprehendible than normal.

BUT...

Isaac Newton said that "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." He also said, "What goes up must come down."

For me, depression is much worse and occurs much more often than mania.  I think a lot of this is due to how Cerebral Palsy effects my body.  It zaps my energy and exhausts me.  Most of my life is lived in slow motion and it feels like I'm constantly chasing after something that I will never, never be able to catch.

In addition to depression, I also struggle with other emotions and have emotional outbursts;

This leads to shame and guilt;

Which leads to hearing my inner voices;

Leading to self-harm;

Leading, leading, leading down the rabbit hole.

Until SMACK

You hit rock bottom and once you climb back out of the rabbit hole...

The cycle starts all over again.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!


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