It is hard to be a Christain AND have a mental illness.
When I was younger (and even now) people would tell me that if my faith were greater or if I prayed more I wouldn't be disabled (or God would take my disability away)/\.
This is, by the way, an AWFUL thing to say to someone!!!
I do think that if I was a better person, a better Christian, a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better...a better...a better...
Then I wouldn't have a mental illness!!!
Am I being punished????
The more I spiral into my mental illness I go, the more askew my view of God becomes.
It reigns from guilt to blame to acceptance to hatred to love and back again.
The circle of... insanity.
There are days when it takes every fiber in my body not to do something I can't take back.
I know this thinking is irrational and self-centered and is totally selfish because there are people who are truly irrational and self-centered; those who truly NEED help.
Somehow, in my opinion, we either think we are more deserving than others or we think we are less deserving than others.
I tend to think I am less deserving than others.
(Some people say that this in itself makes me self-centered.)
Sometimes I wonder if GOD only gives us so many chances in this life, and I've reached my limit.
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