Mental Health Monday: The Cost of Mental Health

 

Photo by Clip Art Library

According to MedCityNews,  in the USA, the behavioral health market is valued at $90.5  billion in 2022 and Precedence Research predicts the cost of mental health to grow in excess of $130 billion in 2027.

But there is a greater cost to mental health.

On that is closer to the heart...The personal cost...The cost pulls at the heartstrings,  not just the purse strings.

For me. the greatest cost of my mental health has been my. relationships with others.

Some relationships can never be repaired.

Words are like a tube of toothpaste; once they come out, they can't go back in again.

"I'm sorry" is like salt that loses its flavor; it's useless.

Sometimes, I don't know where my mental health ends and where my selflessness begins.

What has your mental health cost you?

Thankful Thursday - Sandra

 Photo by Clipart Library

Some friends are just distant to meet...no matter what.

My friend, Sandra, is one of those friends.  She was here when I came back to the Waters (I went to live at a nursing facility for a while.  When I first got back, she was afraid she'd come between our friend Deborah and me.  Soon we were all thick as thieves.  

In many ways, Sandra and I had more in common than we did with Deborah.  She has CP also.  We just bonded~it's can be very hard to meet other people my age who have CP.

She became the "big sister" I never had.  We took care of each other.  I'm usually the "mother" of friendships I have ~ some of my friends are older than me.

She says I have a low pain reliance because she hit me with the corner of a pizza box and I said it hurt.🤕

She spoils me.  She's my confidant.  She protects me when I get in trouble 👮 (not that I ever get in trouble).

She calms me down when Aella Saudade, comes out in me.

I love her so much!!!

Wednesday's Word - Passion

 

 

Photo by FAVPNG 

What is passion?

Dictionary.com defines passion as any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, such as love or hate.

Passion holds a different meaning for everyone. 

My definition of passion is to have a feeling for someone or something that is so intense, it takes my breath away.  It calls for a response that I have to answer; if I don't respond to this call my heart feels like it will explode

 Usually, when people think about being passionate, it is directed toward a good thing; something positive.

However, we can be passionate about negative things.  How many times have we heard, thought, or even said I HATE you?  We may have to be passionate about something that we don't want to because it is in our best interest or someone else's best interest. 

We can be passionate about things that others may not care about as much as we do or they may even be the polar opposite of who we are and what we are passionate about.

Being passionate about something is not always easy.  It can be very hard, and very expensive; both monetarily and emotionally. 

We may have to weigh what we are passionate about against our relationships with others. 

Last week, I wrote about the influence that others have on us.  I think others can definitely have an influence on our passions.

It is easy to push our passions out of the way because we have to accommodate others.  Some examples of these are; when we get married,  have kids, move, etc.

That's not always a bad thing.

However, I think when we totally let our passions fall the wayside simply because someone else doesn't share or like them.  We need to question why we let their opinion influence how we approach our passions.

I'm not saying  I let someone tell me what I can or cannot do,  because I don't.

I do think that I, out of my own free will, presume what others think of my passions and let this "presumption" affect how I pursue my passions.

Why???

I should be strong  and confident in myself enough, that  I can say "You don't have to like what I'm passionate about, but this is part of who I am."

I think I'm afraid of what others think of me when I disagree with them.

I'm trying to understand the concept that I can still LOVE someone even when I don't agree and share my passions with them.

About Me Tuesday: My Daddy

 

Yesterday, Oct 24,2022, would have been my Daddy's 77th birthday.

I was a Daddy's girl (except when my Mama was around 🤣!)

He was my first encourager.  My parents were told to leave me at the hospital and forget about me.  He said "Not my daughter."

He helped me overcome all the limitations that were placed on me.

When I started to walk, I was a little wobbly, just a little bit.

My Daddy was a big man - he was 6'7.  All my friends thought he was a giant.

He would help me walk; when I stumbled, he always caught me; usually before I fell.

Walking with him always made me feel safe

One of my favorite things to do with my Daddy was to debate him: about religion, politics, and current events.  We could talk for hours.

He told me I could do ANYTHING!!!

As I became a teenager, my relationship with my Daddy got rocky.  There are things we both struggled to understand about each other.

He was so proud the day I graduated from college, got married, and had the kids.

I always knew he loved me.

This picture was taken 4 days before he died.

That was the last time I ever saw my Daddy.  

Hard to believe he's been gone 17 years ago.  

I miss and love him every day.

Mental Health Mondays: My Alter- Ego Name

 

 Photo by Online Web Fonts

My Alter Name Is:

AELLA SAUDADE

meaning

WHIRLWIND IN THE DEEP SOUL OF RENDING SADNESS

These Names Were Chosen By My Mama

Mental Health Mondays: Letter to My Bipolar

Photo by Needpix

 

To my Bipolar, (also known as Manic Depression);

I HATE you!!!

Actually, that's not true:

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being MANIC!!!

It's a high: I feel like I can do ANYTHING!!!

It's like being the Tasmanian Devil.  I'm running in circles and I'm bouncing off walls.  My mind is racing, I'm talking at top speed and am even more comprehendible than normal.

BUT...

Isaac Newton said that "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." He also said, "What goes up must come down."

For me, depression is much worse and occurs much more often than mania.  I think a lot of this is due to how Cerebral Palsy effects my body.  It zaps my energy and exhausts me.  Most of my life is lived in slow motion and it feels like I'm constantly chasing after something that I will never, never be able to catch.

In addition to depression, I also struggle with other emotions and have emotional outbursts;

This leads to shame and guilt;

Which leads to hearing my inner voices;

Leading to self-harm;

Leading, leading, leading down the rabbit hole.

Until SMACK

You hit rock bottom and once you climb back out of the rabbit hole...

The cycle starts all over again.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Name My Alter Egos

Photo by FAVPNG

 A few weeks ago I wrote a post about naming my alter egos.  I need something spicy for the manic and something sadder for the depressive ego. The winner(s) will be mentioned in my blog...Thank you.